Tim Sohn is a Bay Area based photographer.  As a photographer, he wants to be able to tell a story through his pictures. And with these pictures, may they bring back great memories as you look back one by one.

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My advice for him was, forget the people who cannot make it. You simply cannot accommodate every single person in our life. As long as you got your close family and friends or at least the majority of them that’s good enough. Besides this is just an engagement party.

As I go through this journey with him, as he finalizes the last few details…telling our friends when the engagement dinner is going to be, I began to get questions from our friends: “are we suppose to pay for the couple?”… “are we suppose to bring gifts?” … and comments such as: “i have no clue what to do, this is my first engagement dinner, just tell me what you need or want me to do.”

It’s not until those questions are brought up when I realized, man there are a lot of people out there who may not know Engagement dinner / party etiquettes! So here I am writing a post answering people’s questions and hope that for the next engagement party they’ll know what to do!

Q: What’s the purpose of an engagement party?

A: To sum it up… it more like the guy pops the question, the girl says “yes”..together they say ” let’s  celebrate!” hence an engagement party. Traditionally, an engagement dinner is where the parents from both side finally meet each other formally.  Now it’s really up to you how you want to host it.

Q: so who host the engagement dinner/ party?

A: Western Culture – the bride’s side; Eastern Culture – the groom’s side. And in some cases the friends or close family hosts the party for the couple. But in all reality, it doesn’t matter. As the years go by, traditions are slowly fading.

Q: Should the guests bring gifts for the couple?

A: Traditionally gifts are not given at an engagement party because this is a party to announce an engagement; the guests predominantly don’t know it is an engagement announcement party.  Besides if gifts were to be given during engagement parties, what are you going to get them on their wedding day?  While traditionally guests have not brought presents to this event, increasing numbers do today. So I suggest you talk amongst your friends and decide whether a gift should be bought or not.. perhaps all friends can chip in on something.

In conclusion,  tradition is a changing. So I advice just play it by ear and see what happens. Just remember to be clear on your intentions and your expectations.

And remember, engagement party doesn’t need to be fancy. I told my friend the same thing. I know how much he wants to make this night memorable and unforgettable for his fiancé, but I reminded him not to over do it – this isn’t the main event (aka the wedding day). So try to create a different mood for the engagement party. There was an engagement party I have attended, the guy proposes to the girl at some place, meanwhile back at the girl’s house all families and friends gathered as we all waited for the newly engaged couples to come back home. So it was a surprise for the bride and the groom did the planning. But we each brought some dessert / finger foods and just congratulated them. It was nice and they were able to celebrate their engagement with close families and friends.

Technorati Tags: engagement, engagement party, etiquette

Actually come to think about it, I’m going to break this topic in sections. There are just so many things to talk about to do (optional or must do). So let’s start with…Newly Engaged Couples:

1. Before you do anything or plan anything, celebrate your engagement! Announce it to your friends and family; have a party! Go ahead, jump up and down it’s okay to be excited and thrilled!
2. Some people buy a journal or even start a blog about their journey. This is actually quite helpful because you get to write down all the process of your wedding planning (good and bad moments) – I think this will be a idea because you’ll want to look back and re-live the moments or even share it w/ your friends so they won’t make the same mistakes as you did.
3. Set the wedding date. You’d be surprise how hard it actually is to set a wedding date. Not only do you want a date to accommodate everyone’s schedule, you have to look into the weather / season, and most importantly the venue. So do have a couple of different dates in mind, in case the date you want is not available.
4. Set a budget. Money is probably one of the touchiest subjects. So make sure you have talked this out with your fiancé and see what you two want to agree on.
5. Choose your attendants and select the people for your wedding party. If you don’t know how many people you’re inviting, how are you going to find a location that will accommodate the number of your guests? So get that piece of paper and start listing your family and friends.
6. Meanwhile, start thinking about whether you want a formal or casual wedding. Indoor or outdoor? Secular or religious wedding?
7. Start looking for a venue for ceremony and reception. Many of the popular venues get booked fast – some get booked one year in advanced. Therefore the earlier you book the venue, the more likely you’ll get the location, the date you want it to be, and for a better cost.
8. Bride and Groom’s helpers. If you want your wedding to be successful then it’s okay to ask for help. Two people just simply cannot do it alone to get the wedding executed perfectly. You can hire professional help or if you have trusted friends and family members – use them.

Once you got all that down, you should have a more solid foundation for your wedding. It is now time for the fun stuff: dresses, shoes, tuxes, flowers, food, music, wedding favors, and more! Oh, and don’t forget to keep a checklist; it’s very helpful! Check out our useful checklist right here!

Technorati Tags: engagement, wedding, Wedding Checklist